The Frayed Ends Of Sanity
by AkiyukiNishimura
Summary: He killed two men, but he made it his goal to make a better world. Traumatized, Light tries to struggle on with his goal, experiencing anxiety, depression and fear. The Death Note is starting to affect his mind as Light slowly becomes Kira.
1. The Mirror

**Disclaimer: LelouchYagami owns nothing**

* * *

 _ **Chapter One – The Mirror**_

* * *

 **Light's psychological change from Normal to Kira in the beginning of the series has always been something that has interested me. The change is offscreen and supposedly happened over the course of a week. I have decided to make this fanfic to see how I think the psychological change went.**

* * *

Two criminals dead and Light is still thinking about it.

"I committed murder" Light thought. "And now I decide to kill even more people… what's wrong with me?"

The thoughts were still going through his head "b-but this is for a better world" he thought.

Light knew that when he got home he would have to kill more criminals but now he was just thinking it had to be the worst of the worst.

"Th-this notebook can be used for good." Light said as he was nearing his home. "I am sure of it but I got to hide this. I do not want to think about what would happen if my sister or my parents found it."

Light was cold, wet and felt miserable. After he got home he hid the Death Note in his room and then took a long shower. The shower was long because he was feeling depressed. "Do I have the authority to say who lives and who dies?" Light thought "Do I?"

That night Light killed at least 50 more criminals before going to the bathroom to throw up his dinner. He was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes before he felt well enough to fall asleep. He knew what he was going to start doing from this day forward. Light closed his eyes but he felt depressed.

* * *

 **Day One**

* * *

Light woke up but it took him a while to get out of bed. He decided to turn on the TV. He knew what news story it was going to be.

"We are still trying to investigate a recent plague of heart attacks among criminals in Japan" the news lady said. "I have a guy from the first prison to encounter these mysterious incidents and I want to know what he thinks."

"When was the first time you heard that a person died in your prison?" the news lady said.

"About 9:30 PM is when I heard that one of the prisoners had fallen dead of a heart attack" the prison guard said.

"9:30", Light thought, "the same time I wrote his name, but the news is positive so far. Is there anything wrong with killing the worst of the worst."

"He was a serious offender" the prison guard said. "He had several rights' violations as well as battery, assault, murder and two attempted rapes. He originally got the death sentence but appeals gave him life in prison."

"Do you know what caused his death?" the news lady asked.

"It was me" Light said quietly. "I caused it."

"I don't know" the prison guard said. "It could be disease. It could be food poisoning but I haven't heard of prison food causing a heart attack. Maybe it was due to stress but it seems like an act of god to me."

"Do you believe it is?" the news lady said.

"I don't know" the prison guard said. "All I hope is that this blows over real fast. So far I hear the people of Japan are taking it positively but I don't know if these deaths would do a positive effect on the world."

"Thank you for your time" the news lady said. "We'll be back after this commercial break."

Light then turned off the television. He got out his notebook and started writing the names of the worst criminals he could find off the internet.

"Why am I putting myself through this?" Light said. "They are criminals but murder is not right. Why would I lower myself to being a murderer, a vigilante? I always wanted to do good but not like this. Is this even good? The public seems to think it is good but that is only one opinion. If people feel strongly negative about this I'll stop. I don't want to lower myself even further. I always wanted to be like my father but is this the right direction to go. You know now I wish this was just a sick joke then I wouldn't have to commit these murders in the first place."

"Why would a Death Note be real in the first place?" Light thought. "Gods of Death are just rumors. Shinigami, Grim Reapers, they are just television fantasy. One of my favorite characters on television is a Shinigami but he is good. You know I wish a Shinigami would just kill me right now. I don't think I am doing the right thing. I mean who sent this notebook in the first place."

"About 32 criminals are dead today" Light thought. "I know the kill count might become higher one day but there is something about this notebook that attaches me to it. Does this notebook have an addicting component to it? No it can't. It is just a supernatural notebook but this can be used for good. I am not a pathetic murderer, I can have good reason for using this notebook."

"Light", Sachiko said from downstairs, "it is time for breakfast."

"Okay" Light said. "I'm coming Mom."

Light went downstairs looking as depressed as he was the night before. "Is something wrong Light?" Sachiko said.

"It is nothing" Light said. "Just a lot of hard school work."

"I haven't heard of anybody getting depressed because of school work." Sayu said as she ran towards Light.

"Well maybe I am a bit different" Light complained.

"You are always happy when I'm around" Sayu said. "Didn't you make a promise a few years ago that if somebody was going to kill me, you would take the bullet?"

"Yes" Light said. "And I will never back out of that promise. You guys are the only people that make me feel completely comfortable."

Light had breakfast with his family. During that time a conversation that Light predicted started.

"So", Soichiro said, "did you hear about these recent deaths of criminals?"

"Yeah" Sayu said. "It is so mysterious. Is it the food they are eating?"

"I don't know" Soichiro said. "All I hope is that this doesn't last long. It seems like some kind of murderer."

"It's me" Light thought. "Should I confess right now? Should I tell them it was me? Would they even believe me in the first place. But if my father finds out I'm a murderer he would never think the same things about me again. Sayu maybe she could support me. I love her and she admires me, maybe I can win her over."

"Do you think that this is some kind of coincidence?" Sachiko said.

"I hope it is" Soichiro said. "I do not want to be involved with these deaths at all. I mean if this is murder then who could do it. It is impossible to kill so many people in so little time."

"I wish it was impossible" Light thought. "But that Death Note, what is making me so attracted to it? I'm not corrupt. I hope I never become corrupt but I am so sick and tired of all the crime and injustice going around. Somebody has to take a stand. I mean law and order is not perfect but maybe if I gave criminals a warning, they would stay away."

"Is there anything the Japanese Police Force can do about this?" Light said.

"So far we are just burying the dead" Soichiro said. "I really don't think the police force will get involved with this. Somebody else maybe, this is something a detective would do."

"Dad", Light said honestly, "I don't want you involved with this. If you get involved you might die."

"Light", Soichiro said, "I don't think it is that bad so far."

"But you are always on the frontlines everyday" Light yelled in a sad tone "You are almost always too busy to hang out with me or Sayu. Why would you get involved with this if it means that we might think we could never see you again?"

"Light", Soichiro said, "I understand what you are saying but that is no reason for me not to investigate this. I will always be here for you."

"Okay Dad" Light said. "I should tell them" Light thought. "I should just tell them right now so I can never use this notebook ever again but jail or a death sentence. I don't think I could handle either."

* * *

After breakfast was over, Light went to school. The day went normally but he kept hearing students talk about all the criminal deaths that have been going on. "This was always going to be big news." Light thought. "People are going to be trying to name him very soon. I know it. They could name him anything, murderer, savior, wrath, Kira. Who knows, but the name doesn't matter, it is his presence that does."

Light was at the same desk he was always at. "Huh" Light thought, "If I didn't look out this window then none of these weird things would be happening to me."

After classes ended Light went by his locker to get the things he needed to stay home. At that moment Sudou came by.

"Hey Light" Sudou said. "Want to hang out at my place tonight?"

"Sudou why" Light thought. "Your bad behavior at this school has been driving me nuts for the past two years."

"I can't" Light said. "I have a lot of studying to do."

"That is the problem with you Light" Sudou said.

"What?" Light said back.

"For the past year here you have always been by yourself" Sudou said. "You are never around friends. You rarely talk to people. You are one of the most popular kids here and you don't communicate with anyone except the teachers."

"Really" Light said. "And you have gone around hurting the freshmen since sophomore year. You want to know why people are not fond of you Sudou? It is your ways. You think bullying younger students will just make you cool when really you are just making an example for yourself. You sometime try to ask me to become your friend but I feel you are only doing it to try to gain popularity. If this is your attempt at making me your friend now you have failed in every conceivable way. I am sick and tired of you. By now consider this friendship impossible."

"Why you" Sudou said angrily as he tried to punch Light, but Light just dodged that punch and then hit him really hard in the head.

"Why did you do that?" Sudou yelled.

"Self defense" Light said. "It is the only reason people should hurt others."

"Sudou", Light thought, "thank god you are not a murderer. It was stupid for me to think that I should even kill you. Bullies don't deserve death but they do deserve punishment. I have no reason to come after you Sudou but stop trying to come after me."

"You know", Sudou said, "you should wipe that frown off your face Light. For the past few days you have been depressed. You should try having some fun in your life."

"Light", Yuri said walking fast towards Light, "Have you heard about these recent mysterious deaths. The reports have said that these criminals were perfectly healthy."

"Yes" Light said. "And I hope they stop pretty soon."

"I don't care for it" Yuri said. "But it is very interesting news."

"It won't stop" Light thought "Unless somebody stops me or I stop myself. Huh, I have to kill more criminals tonight."

* * *

After dinner, Light returned to his room to continue killing criminals.

"I have all the power in the world to do this" Light thought. "But I don't have the rights. Maybe if I could get an A Okay from someone then maybe this could go in a positive direction. 95 criminals dead so far today and no end in sight. Should I really judge criminals though. I think the people around already have judged these criminals. I hear it several times a year. A criminal is given the death sentence and then he begs for his life. I see it over and over again. It is so pathetic. If I was in his position I would embrace death with open arms. At least it is better than life in solitary confinement."

"I should be getting to bed right now" Light said "I have killed at least 150 people so far. Has this happened before? Is this even a world record for a Death Note user? Am I first ever Death Note user? I have to be, I haven't heard of mysterious heart attack deaths until now… well it is time for bed."

Light took his shower then washed his face and brushed his teeth. He still felt sick but couldn't barf out any food. In his pajamas he went to bed and then he heard a voice.

"Light, Light" from behind.

Light turned around to what he saw as the Death Note talking to him. It must be a hallucination or he might be going crazy.

"Light", said the Death Note, "don't you want to try me? With me you are invincible. Nobody knows what you are doing and nobody cares. So please write in me."

"No" Light said. "I am done for today. I am not that kind of person to stop caring about people."

"But what you are doing to this world is great" the Death Note said. "You are this world's savior."

"Get away" Light said. "Am I a savior or am I just a murderer? Even now I am confused."

"Murder and killing are the same thing" the notebook said.

"But isn't murder unlawful killing?" Light said "Is what I'm going wrong or am I justice?"

"How about you kill people who think what you are doing is wrong" the notebook said. "Then everybody in the world will think you are right."

"No" Light said. "I will never stoop beyond criminals. They are the people that are making the world rot, nothing else. What do you think I am a psychopath, a sociopath? If this is murder than it is different. I care about people."

"Would you care about your life if that meant using the Death Note puts your life in danger?" said a voice in Light's head.

"Man", Light said, "it feels like I am going insane."

"Write in me" the Death Note said as it continued to talk to Light.

 _Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me,_

"Can I just go to bed?" Light yelled.


	2. The Glass Prison

_**Chapter Two – The Glass Prison**_

* * *

"Okay" Light said. "I'll write a few more names."

At that moment Light returned to his table to write at least ten more criminal names. It was a struggle but he had to do it to get it off his shoulder. He must have been going crazy, why would that Death Note talk to him in the first place?

"This decision", Light thought, "why did I even make it? Isn't a life a life anyway? But I can make a perfect world, it is not impossible."

After Light finished writing the names he sat back down in bed to think about it for a while. "I made this decision to make a better world but why does it feel like I am ignoring what I told myself" Light thought. "It is just a supernatural notebook, no harm can come to me from it, but is it really worth all my time and effort to work for a goal that is seemingly impossible. I don't think I can use this notebook responsibly but somebody has to change the world."

It took Light a few minutes to settle into bed. He knew that if he wanted to get the attention of criminals, the body count would have to rise by tomorrow. He wanted to make a better world but in some ways he felt like he couldn't. He still regretted his actions of that night. He still felt his actions were immoral.

While Light was sleeping he remembered the day he discovered that Death Note and set his goal out. He remembered his thoughts after being traumatized for killing two criminals.

 _I killed two men. Those were human lives, it won't be overlooked! Besides, who am I to pass judgment on others? ..._ _No_ _. No, wait. Maybe I'm wrong. This is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. This world is rotting, and those who are making it rot deserve to die!_ _Someone has to do it, so why not me? Even if it means sacrificing my own mind and soul it's worth it. Because the world.. can't go on like this. I wonder. what if someone else had picked up this notebook? Is there anyone out there other than me who'd be willing to eliminate the vermin from the world? If I don't do it, then who will? That's just it there's no one. But I can do it, in fact I'm the only one who can, I'll do it, using the death note I'll change the world._

"Am I the only one who can do this?" Light said quietly. "Maybe I should just give that notebook to somebody else to commit these deeds. I am a murderer but I never wanted to be a murderer. Maybe I should auction this off to somebody just as smart as me. If I'm not doing this I can live a normal life again. Not be this type of person. Am I even justice for what I am doing? I am doing this without anybody's permission. This isn't even what my father taught me about justice. The world needs to be changed. It is rotten, but maybe I'm not worthy of changing it. I don't think I can handle using this notebook. Maybe I was right before and it was wrong for me to even choose this direction."

That night Light continued to think about his actions and his sudden urge to continue writing in the notebook past the time he wanted to stop using it. After a while Light was finally able to relax and go to sleep.

* * *

 **Day Two**

* * *

It was easier to wake up this morning compared to the last. Over a hundred criminals were dead as of yesterday. Light hoped he could increase the number to two hundred but he still wasn't really feeling it. He went to the desk and started writing.

"I never really got sick of crime until recently", Light thought, "For a longtime I thought jail was enough but now these incidents that I have caused are really becoming widespread news. I only chose to kill them using a heart attack because I didn't have the time to write the cause of death. I was too focused on getting the name of the following criminal."

"This is day two of us reporting these strange deaths of criminals" the news lady said. "We have some interviews from the general public about these deaths."

"As long as the opinion is positive", Light thought, "then there is no reason for me to quit."

"So how do you feel about these recent deaths" a news man asked interviewing somebody around Light's age.

"I don't know what is causing these criminals to die" the young man said. "But I feel that it is really helping our society. If criminals are afraid to die and if they know that death awaits them if they commit a crime, then they would be too afraid to commit that crime in the first place. I think that in order to make a crime free world we need to give the criminals the warning that if you do this, you get this punishment."

"All right" the news man said. "Thanks for your time."

These news stories seemed to relieve Light of all the stress and anxiety he was feeling for killing these criminals. "Nobody is saying this is wrong" Light thought. "So am I right, because I am really hating myself for this. I feel like I should be the one punished not all these criminals. But I am now questioning what is real justice: retribution or rehabilitation."

Light was aware enough today to come downstairs before his mother told him to. There Sayu immediately noticed Light's depressed face.

"What's wrong Light?" Sayu asked. "Wouldn't a little rest help deal with the tons of school work you have to do?"

"No", Light said, "it isn't that."

"Then what is it? Sayu said. "I'm worried about you, you haven't been yourself since yesterday."

"Should I tell her? Light thought "She seems to trust me the most and even if she is devastated, Sayu might be the one who would understand the most even if I do wound up punished. But if I reveal the existence of the Death Note than my family might be in danger as well. My father would be fired. We would have FBI and CIA investigating this family for months, maybe even years. I am already in big trouble for this, so maybe I should just give this Death Note away."

"I don't want to talk about it" Light said to Sayu.

"Why?" Sayu asked.

Light was struggling to find an answer. He was stuck between saying "You wouldn't believe it if I told you" or "Because I can understand it more than you", Light in desperation chose the later.

"It is because I can understand it more than you" Light yelled.

"Brother" Sayu said. "That was mean."

"I knew it" Light thought. "I should have just confessed everything right then and there. But this might end me with a Life In Prison sentence. Even if the truth came out, I would have chosen the Death Penalty instead. Better to die than live with these terrible thoughts in my head."

"I'm sorry" Light said apologetically "I didn't know what came over me at that time." Light then settled in to have breakfast but these thoughts of the past few days were going about in his mind in rapid succession. He just wanted it to stop.

* * *

School was not much better. If there was any day he didn't want to hear about the deaths he caused it was today. All throughout the school day Light was thinking one thought, "Just give that notebook to somebody else. Somebody I trust."

 _Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust. Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust, Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust,_ _Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust, Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust,_ _Just give that notebook to somebody else, somebody I trust_

"Is there somebody I can give that notebook to that I can trust?" Light thought. "There was somebody on the television yesterday named Teru Mikami. He looks like a young idealist who could use the notebook for good. In fact he is a lawyer who knows justice better than I ever could. But he is just one of many lawyers. I could give the Death Note to any lawyer and it could be fine. In fact I think I could find many people who are just as smart as me and want a better world, but if I do, then how can I give them this notebook?"

When school ended, Light decided to sit down on a bench on his way back and then he started crying.

"Is there any good that can come out of my life if I did this?" Light thought. "Is there any good that can come out of my family's life if I do this? I mean one slip up and I am dead, not just me but my family as well. Do I even have any reason to do this in the first place other than an urge to make a better world? Maybe the world isn't as bad as I think it is and I am just overreacting. But I am still attracted to that notebook and I don't know why. The notebook can't be cursed and if it is cursed does that mean I am cursed as well? No no… I am over thinking this. I know that I am myself. This notebook doesn't define me."

* * *

At home before Light returned to his room he asked his mother a question.

"Sachiko" Light said.

"Light" Sachiko said "What is it?"

"If you had the power to make a better world", Light said, "would you do it?"

"Of course I would" Sachiko said. "Who doesn't want a better world?"

"But what if that power came at a price?" Light said back.

"Then" Sachiko said "I don't know. You should be more specific with this question. I know for the past year you have been sick and tired of hearing all these murder stories on television but crime is just part of life. It will never go away. Didn't you promise your father that you would grow up to be just like him?"

"Yes" Light said. "Yes I did and I know I am on my way to following in his footsteps."

"That's the spirit Light" Sachiko said. "Now go make your father proud."

"I will" Light said.

Light want back up to his room. "So I guess that didn't help" Light thought. "Am I willing to sacrifice anything, even my sanity, if it means making a better world because I don't want to lose my soul."

"So you're willing to give up mind and soul for a stupid goal" said a voice that sounded just like his.

Light turned around to see a figure in his room. It looked just like him. He wore the same high school uniform he always wore.

"Who are you?" Light said.

"Light" the figure said. "I am your true self and I am dying. Can you please help me?"

"Dying" Light said. "Dying from what?"

"From that notebook" the figure said. "If you keep using it you will never be the same again."

"Never be the same?" Light asked.

"That notebook you're using is like a drug" the figure said. "Once you are on you can't get off and if effects your sanity as well. I see a bleak future for you Light. I think you'll be the death of me and that death will be pathetic, despicable and you will be nothing like how you previously were."

"The notebook can't be addicting" Light said. "I think you are overreacting."

"You'll see one day" the figure said. "If you are going to use the notebook, use it cautiously. If you don't you might go insane."

"Cautiously" Light thought. "How can I be anymore cautious about using the notebook than I am now. This is stupid. A notebook can't make people go insane. Insanity is developed over a long period of time. I don't think I'll go insane."

"You can continue your goal" the figure said. "Just don't become the monster that is growing inside you. Don't be a man in name only. Light, please don't become a threat to life itself. I would never forgive you if you went in the direction I think you are going."

The figure then disappeared from Light's vision. Light was unaware that he was starting to go insane. "I have all the power in the world" Light said. "Is there any reason not to use it?" Then several thoughts of killing came into his head.

 _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._ _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._

"Stop saying that" Light thought. "I will not become that monster. This power can be used for good and I can prove it."

At that moment Light started writing down the names of many criminals. Several over the course of an hour. There was some weird feeling. Writing these names relieved him of these thoughts. What was causing these thoughts he didn't know. Was it himself or the notebook. After Light finished writing these names, he could finally rest.

"See" Light thought. "Now these thoughts are out of my head. The Death Note is just a supernatural notebook: nothing more, nothing less. I can control myself. There is nothing wrong with using this notebook as long as you just kill those who are truly guilty. I will never kill an innocent person in my life."

The kill count was in the two hundreds by the end of the day. Dinner was over and Light got a small bag of potato chips as a snack before he went to bed.

Before he went to bed he had several thoughts in his head. "I will give this notebook to somebody else" Light thought. "But first I have to prove that it is perfectly fine to use this notebook. No insanity, no voices. I will not stop until I can prove this. I am only killing the worst criminals I can find, nothing more. I can still make a better world. Power at a price. I don't think the Death Note is giving me a price. Is the price my sanity because I don't think notebooks could do this. I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me and there is nothing wrong with my mind."

Light finally went to bed, unaware that what he was doing would effect him in the long run.

"The Death Note is just a notebook that kills people" Light thought. "Nothing more. There is nothing cursed about it."

Light finally went to sleep. He no longer felt anxious about what he was doing.


	3. This Dying Soul

_**Chapter Three – This Dying Soul**_

* * *

That night there was a thunderstorm. In fact, Light felt that the thunderstorm was going to represent his life. This had been the worst thunderstorm in Japan for quite a while and Light felt every moment of it.

Even though Light chose to continue using the Death Note for both his goal and to prove it couldn't corrupt him, he felt scared. He didn't think he was worthy of using the Death Note. He felt he was too young to handle something like this. In fact, now he was thinking that nobody should be able to use the Death Note, not even himself. Even then he knew that tomorrow's body count would have to be a little bit bigger than today's.

"Why am I doing this?" Light thought as he opened his eyes. "Criminals are bad to the world and deserve to be punished, but not all of them deserve to die. Only the ones who make the world rot the most: rapists, murderers, arsonists and people who torture people for the fun of it. But am I a murderer as well for what I am doing? Am I no better than the people I am killing? It should not go any deeper than this. I would never kill or hurt an innocent in my life. Petty criminals aren't really that bad to society and people who regret their crimes don't deserve to die. I will kill those that I know are beyond redemption. Those I see are 100% rotten. These are the people who make society rot the most. They have no reason and they don't care whether what they are doing is right or wrong in the first place. They do it because they love it and they will never change their mind about it. They see killing like it is eating breakfast and they love the sound of screams. They love making people miserable. I will never become a person like that. I can never see myself as somebody like that. This world needs a hero and I can provide that hero to them. But am I worthy of doing this?"

"Do I have the guts?" Light said in a scared tone. He was afraid of what he was doing and of the person he was afraid of becoming. "Am I the hero?" Light thought. "Or am I the villain?"

The storm continued to rage on as Light was struggling to get some sleep. "I need to gain the will to kill if this perfect world is to come to be" Light thought. "But this strange feeling I get while I use the Death Note, is it bad for me or can I work with it?"

"No" Light thought. "I have control over this notebook. The notebook doesn't have any control over me. I'll show him. I will make a new world. A better world and in the end I will be seen as the hero. The ends do justify the means."

Light could finally relax his mind at that thought. He felt now like he could achieve his goal. He didn't feel like there was anything wrong with him at all. In fac,t now he felt the Death Note wasn't bad for him at all. How wrong was he that the truth was beyond him.

* * *

 **Day Three**

* * *

Light woke up and felt rejuvenated but he didn't feel ready to write anybody's name so he instead did some stretches to get himself ready. After he was done he went to the desk and turned on the TV. The news was the same but the reception to this mysterious killer seemed more positive than ever.

"So far", Light thought, "nobody has opposed these killings. If anybody does oppose me, I can just ignore it. Those people are beyond me. No hero was a hundred percent liked in society. The Brits hated George Washington. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. Heck, even Jesus was hated. If I kill people who oppose me which is something I don't want to do, people will see this mysterious figure as less of a hero and more like a brutal dictator. They will compare me to Hitler and Stalin. This would bring back the horrors of World War II for this society and so many other societies. I have never seen myself as better than anybody else. I am not perfect. In fact there is a person that is more perfect than me."

"Light" Sachiko yelled.

"Coming" Light said. "I was only able to kill about 42 criminals right now" Light thought. "I think I can equal my number by the end of the day."

Light came down stairs. He saw that his sister was complaining to their parents.

"Why?" Sayu said "Why did you change the channel back to the mysterious deaths?"

"We needed to see where the investigation is going" Soichiro said. "These deaths are going on longer than we think they are. At this point it is no longer a coincidence."

"But there is an announcement for Hideki Ryuuga's upcoming tour in Japan" Sayu said. "You guys promised me you would get tickets."

"We can talk about it later." Soichiro said. "It is just that this is more important news at the moment."

"Dad", Light said, "are you sure this isn't a coincidence? It still seems so mysterious to me."

"I always had the philosophy that if something happens for a gratuitous amount of time than it is no longer a coincidence." Soichiro said "I am going to be part of the investigation even if you don't want me to."

"Why?" Light thought "In all my life I never wanted my father to be a rival against me. This is my own father. The person I wanted to grow up to become, but now we are mortal enemies. That makes no sense. I would never be an enemy to my family. In fact I would never be an enemy to society itself. Maybe I can still tell him and end this misery right now. Maybe if someone else has that notebook than these strange visions and feelings will just go away. I would never see myself as just a strange serial killer."

"Okay", Light said, "I am going to school. I guess I am no longer hungry." Light definitely did lose his appetite last night, but he didn't want to admit it until now.

"Okay" Sachiko said. "We'll see you in a few hours."

Light left his house. His family was getting worried about him.

"He is acting very strange" Sayu said. "It seems like he doesn't want to admit something and he is being even more reclusive than he was before. Do you think he is…?"

"No" Soichiro said. "There is no possible way my son or any single person on the planet could be responsible for those deaths. If it is anybody it must be a large group that works at night to kill prisoners and even if it was my son, he would never abandon his family for a stupid reason. So no, Light is not responsible and he will never be."

"I guess you're right" Sayu said. "I am just worried about him. I will talk to him after dinner."

Light heard those words from a distance and with that he decided he wouldn't go home just yet. He decided to have a few tennis matches before he went back home. He didn't hear that Sayu wanted to talk to him after dinner but he was too far away at the moment. Along with killing criminals he knew he had to study for a test in less than two weeks. He definitely knew he was going to pass it but he didn't know that there was going to be a God Of Death that would arrive at his home that day. Light was oblivious to his bleak future and now he didn't want to think about whether his future would be bleak or not.

"Is this the right direction to take my life?" Light thought. "If it is not, than what is the right direction to take my life?"

* * *

School lasted about as long as it usually did and people were still talking about the same thing. In fact, Light was starting to think that this would be the usual when he went to school. Using the Death Note would become a regular part of his now strange life.

"Strange" Light thought. "How could I ever predict that my life would become so strange. A notebook that can kill people, that has to be a joke but it turned out to be real. Shinigami aren't real but now I wouldn't be surprised if I am wrong. All my life I always thought I was right, but now I am becoming more and more wrong every day. Maybe I shouldn't have become so reclusive. But I was suffering from depression before and now it seems like it is slowly going away. That is a positive thing. The Death Note can't give me a worse feeling than depression. The only thing worse than depression is regret and both of those are better than death."

On his way back home, Light went to the tennis court to go a few rounds with his friends. It felt refreshing ever since the Death Note was starting to mess with his life. In fact it felt rejuvenating. He knew his true self was still there not the mask that the Death Note was starting to become part of. He knew that this new identity was just a part of a double life, one where he could be a normal person doing extraordinary things. His life couldn't get worse from here. It couldn't.

* * *

Light went home and did his homework. During homework time he was able to kill some more criminals and after homework he went down early to help his mother with dinner. During dinner he was starting to feel anxious.

"Is there anything wrong?" Sachiko said. "You haven't finished your Teriyaki."

"It is this upcoming test" Light said. "It is probably going to be the most difficult I have ever taken."

"Really" Sachiko said. "It seems no different from any of your other tests.

"Should I just tell them right now" Light thought "I can just get this off my back and go on with my life in a different manner. I can trust their response, even if it is negative. They are my family,. I know they will still love me and if I apologize which I want to do then they will know that this problem is no different from any other problem I have gone through. I can live without this Death Note."

"I have something to say" Light responded and then he suddenly changed what he was about to say. "I can't finish dinner. I guess I will leave the rest to Sayu."

Light left at that moment and at the dinner table both Soichiro and Sachiko nodded their head informing Sayu that she should talk to Light.

"What is wrong with you?" Sayu said to Light "Ever since you came back from that storm you have been acting stranger than usual."

"It isn't that" Light responded.

"Than what is it?" Sayu said "You can tell me. You can trust me. There has never been an issue that we haven't gotten through together. You rarely solve things by yourself and now you are abandoning us for some god unknown reason. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"Look", Light said, "I am going through some tough times right now but you wouldn't understand if I told you."

"You are probably hiding something from me" Sayu said. "You don't want to admit to something and that is fine. As long as you are still my big brother I know you wouldn't abandon me, even if somebody shot me with a gun. You are just not yourself. Tell me, are you still my big brother?"

"I am" Light said. "I will always be. There is nothing that will keep us apart. I care about you as much as you care about me. I would never abandon you for something stupid. I love you Sayu. It is just that I need to deal with my own problems."

"Promise I won't lose you" Sayu said. "I am afraid of losing you" she screamed.

"You won't lose me" Light said. "And I won't lose you. It won't happen for a long time."

"You promise?" Sayu said "Because I still want to know if I am talking to my big brother or somebody else in his body."

"I will never change" Light said. "And if I do change, it would be in a positive way."

Sayu then hugged Light. "Promise that if I die, you die" she said.

"Yes" Light said. Light then thought, "But I can never abandon my family even if she dies. That would be a senseless sacrifice. I would never abandon my family even if one of my parents die which I hope doesn't happen. In the end I am still me."

After Light left Sayu he went back into his room only to notice a mysterious figure there.

"Pretty sister you have Light" the figure said. "Too bad you don't need her."

Light turned around to see a figure that looked just like him except he was a little bit older. He had red hair and he was wearing a business suit. He had a demonic voice.

"Who are you?" Light said.

"Who are you?" the figure said. "Why would you ask such a stupid question to me. I am you aren't I."

"You aren't me" Light responded. "You act deceptive, demonic and just plain disturbing. I would never act like you. Who would take pleasure in that? You have a scary voice just to make people miserable."

"Oh whether I am you or not doesn't matter" the figure said. "All that matters is that you USE THAT NOTEBOOK." The figure was starting to act insane. "There is no reason you shouldn't because with it you are invincible. With it you are authority."

"I would never grow up to be somebody like you" Light said. "All I use that notebook for is killing criminals. Nobody else."

"But what if somebody was after you?" the figure said. "Then what would you do?"

"I", Light said, "I don't know."

"Then write in that notebook there is nothing wrong with it" the figure said. "Besides doesn't writing in it take away the thoughts in your head?"

Light returned to the table. He knew that the Death Note was starting to make him feel better. But how? Something this evil could never make killing people feel so good. "Okay", Light said, "I will write, but if I do will you leave me alone?"

"Of course I will" the figure said. "Once you start writing you don't need me anymore."

This relieved Light as he started writing the names of more criminals. What was making this insane feeling feel so comfortable to him? It felt so painful the last time but it felt better this time. Was it the notebook or was it himself. "Am I getting used to this?" Light thought "All I hope is that my sanity stays stable, but whenever I use this notebook it is hard to keep me in the mental state I was before. Is this the price I have to pay for choosing to make a better world but if it is, is this price worth it? Or can I control myself. No this is just a supernatural notebook. There is nothing corrupting about it."


	4. The Root Of All Evil

_**Chapter Four – The Root Of All Evil**_

* * *

Light finished writing the names of the criminals that had to be killed that night. After that he took a shower and went to bed. While he was sleeping he was thinking about the figure he saw that night. It must had been a hallucination but for some reason he felt to two of them were connected. He just didn't seem to have the appreciation for life that Light had. Light made it his goal to kill criminals to help save lives not kill more. At this time Light was thinking about the thought of his father being his own enemy, his own father and how much his family was worried about him. He had to get this straight and fast or they would think he was the person killing criminals but at the same time he couldn't help but think that if he told them he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

Light opened his eyes to see the figure in the distance. One looked older than him. Maybe if he could work it out with this guy than his problems would come to an end.

"So Light", the figure said, "what would you do if someone came after you?"

"You are really asking this question" Light said. "The fact is nobody is going to come after me. This killer is too mysterious for them to assume it is me."

"Would you kill to save your skin?" the figure said.

"I", Light said, "I don't know. How can I even trust you in the first place. You are insane as far as I'm concerned and so what if people come after me. I could still just hide my identity. Nobody is going to come after me. Nobody is going to figure out it's me unless I tell them, but you are asking me to lower myself further by killing people who are after me and by the way you are talking it seems like you are considering killing my sister."

"Light", the figure said, "you have all the power in the world. Nobody can beat you because nobody can kill people from such a far distance. You can kill people who oppose you and they will never know it is even you."

"That is crossing a line" Light said. "And that also means killing my own fathe,r but the thing that is strange now is that whenever I am near the Death Note I feel closer to home. I don't get it. That sickens me to everything single bit but it seems I am getting used to it. Is that thing trying to control me?"

"You need to get used to what you are doing in order to achieve your goal," the figure said,

"But it seems so sudden and strange" Light said, "It seems like in order to make me feel better I have to kill a lot of criminals. This world is rotten, yes, but I am not a person who likes killing at all."

The figure came up to Light and put his hands on Light's shoulders. "What you are doing is fine. Just let it go and continue your goal" the figure said. "You may think I am different but in truth I am the same."

These words soothed Light as he started to go the sleep. The problem was that being around this figure gave him the creeps. He knew now that this was the best direction to take his life but he was still worried about the bleak future that could await him. Is this really the best direction? Is it worth trying to make a better world? He told himself that even if it is risking mind and soul it is worth it but was it really. For Light this meant abandoning his family even more than he usually did. This meant the possibility of being even more of the recluse than before and then there was the public's reception. He would either go down as the greatest hero of all time or the worst mass murderer of all time. He was even holding the ultimate murder weapon but he had to think this through.

* * *

 **Day Four**

* * *

Light woke up to sudden urge and lust to kill criminals. The words were going through his head continuously.

 _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._ _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. , Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._

He went to his desk and killed more criminals than he had ever before and then he stopped himself. "This isn't right" he said. "This doesn't feel like me." The thought was going through his head continuously.

 _This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me, This doesn't feel like me,_

"Does it matter if it feels like you or not?" the figure said to Light. It was the same figure from last night. "If you are going to make a better world than you better man up. I mean I can't believe my old self was such a wimp."

"If I man up", Light said, "will the better world for everybody I care about come to be? I am imagining a perfect world for me, my father, Sayu, all my friends at school. I had this vision shortly after I killed my first two criminals of a perfect world. A world with no crime. A world with no wars and nobody making any issues. Everybody living in happiness and from all the crime I saw before, this world gave me hope. So I saw the Death Note as a possible way to make this dream come true, but I am worried. This perfect world could end up as a dystopia where everybody is living in fear of me. A dystopia where everybody is after me and the only people who support me are assholes. This vision came to me because I was sick and tired of crime. It was never truly about killing criminals. It was just a vision to have a perfect world. If I give in to your demands, will my dream come true? I don't want a perfect world, just a better world. Not better for me but better for everybody. Consider my actions extremist if you want to but can this lead to a better world? I still hate myself for all these killings I am doing."

"Light", the figure said, "all I hope on giving you and your family is a bright future. There is no reason to be afraid."

"But how about being afraid of the thing who ended up giving this to me" Light said. "If this is worst case scenario then we are talking about a Shinigami, a figure that would kill me with these heart attacks this book provides if he dislikes me by even a smodge. If we live in a world of Shinigamis then I would never want to use this notebook knowing where it came from. Coming from strange creatures that would kill people without a second glance every day. I couldn't even hope about killing one of those creatures. I would never kill a Shinigami. If anything that would mean they are in charge of keeping me in line. I bet the Shinigami that gave this to me is really angry about what I am doing and wants it back."

"Why should that matter Light?" the figure said. "You were chosen. This notebook was meant for you."

"No" Light said. "I was not chosen. I just found this off the ground outside of school and thought it was a joke before discovering it was real. Man if it was a joke than I would definitely have a better life."

"You can have a better life right now if you want to" the figure said. "Just give into those thoughts in your head. They are good for you."

"Did those thoughts come from the notebook or not?" Light said. "I am demanding you to answer me dammit. Is there more to this notebook than just killing people because I want to know where those crazy thoughts come from?"

"Oh who knows where those thoughts come from" the figure said. "The only thing that matters is that you continue with your goal and make the perfect world that I want."

"I can do this" Light said. "But the world doesn't need to be perfect."

"It better be" the figure said. "Because with the power of the notebook you are a god."

"No", Light said, "I am not a god. I am just a normal teenager living in Kanto, Japan that somehow got stuck doing not normal activities. This is disrupting my dream of becoming a person like my father. You are asking me to do something that I am disgusted by and you expect me to trust you. Don't deceive me, whatever you do, don't deceive me. If you are the monster I think you might be than I am going to get oil, go outside and burn this notebook until there is nothing left of it. Heck I don't even need this notebook to make a better world. I could do it legally and be a cop just like my father and please tell me your thoughts of killing my sister were a joke because if it isn't…"

"It was a joke" the figure said. "I have no reason to kill her."

"Even in the worst case scenario" Light said.

"Even then" the figure lied. "Just if you trust me I can give you and your family a better future. If you can use those crazy thoughts to your advantage then you and I could co exist as partners and not rivals. As far as I am concerned the person after you is your rival."

"Promise I will only kill criminals" Light said.

"I hope for a best" the figure said. "But you need to bring out your competitive side more. If you want to show people that this perfect or better world is coming you need to show them that you will not be messed with."

"You are asking me to make my figure more threatening" Light said.

"Yes" the figure said.

"Then I can do it" Light said with some optimism "I can show people this figure will not be messed with and when I do then I am sure a better world can be made."

"Light" Sachiko said from a distance.

"That is your mother" the figure said "You better not be late."

"I won't" Light said.

* * *

The day went normally both at home and at school. Now Light didn't really care about the news that was going on. He just hoped that the deal he made with the figure he saw would work out for the best. The words of criminals being killed were basically commonplace now. Light then thought "I guess I am getting a lot of attention even if they don't know it is me. But I hope to bring the crime rate down to as low as possible before I give that notebook to somebody just as responsible as me. I won't need that notebook after that. This shouldn't take too long. I think I can do this in about a year but how do I hide my activity until my goal is done? I could turn myself in and let a person of authority like a government official or a political leader use the notebook. I could tell my family and get them onto my side without threatening to kill them. No these seem a bit too risky right now but I will think about them later."

After dinner Light returned to his room. He followed the advice of the figure that looked like an older version of him and use the urge and lust to kill criminals to his advantage. Light then heard a voice from behind.

"You are listening to him" the figure said. Light turned around to see that the figure was the one that looked like his present self. "You shouldn't be listening to him"

"I am doing this for a better world" Light said. "I have to listen to him. Maybe he can bring hope."

"He brings hope to you" the figure said. "Then what happens when that hope is destroyed and you are left bleeding to death while you are wondering what went wrong with your life?"

"That won't happen" Light said. "He is promising me a good future."

"It might not happen" the figure said "But it still can. For all I know the Light Yagami I know and love is dying right in front of me and is going to become a monster."

"A monster" Light said "You think I will become a monster. I may be following his advice but I won't become him. I would never become him."

"And what is it too you" the figure said. "I see my father dying earlier than expected. I see you being scorned by people who once cared about you until your secret got out. I see a future where you don't love or care for anyone but yourself. Light you are being selfish."

"Listen", Light said, "I know you are worried about me but I am more powerful then he is. If I see myself going too far then I will catch myself. It is not like I am going to murder innocent people or anything."

"But you could" the figure said. "Don't let that notebook twist your morality to the point of no return."

"The notebook can't corrupt me" Light said. "If it could I would catch myself."

"Do what you want" the figure said. "But all I have to tell you is that you have a possible bleak future ahead of you and if you don't control yourself or get rid of that notebook, then it could come. It might even be inevitable."

The figure left Light's presence and Light sat there shocked. "Are his words true? Could a bleak future really be ahead for me. The older me treats me like a god but the younger me condemns me. Which one is right about me. The one that admires me or the one who condemns me. I know I won't go too far with my actions. I won't be twisted to the point of no return and this notebook can't twist me. I can quit as soon as I need to. As long as the direction I am going in is positive then there is no point in me turning around."


	5. Repentance

_**Chapter Five – Repentance**_

* * *

Before Light went to bed he went to the mirror in the bathroom to think about what he just saw. The revelation of a bad future shocked him but he already felt like he chose his path. He felt like following his older self without actually becoming him was the best direction for him to go in but he just kept thinking. "There are two paths ahead of me" Light thought "But which one do I choose. Do I give up this goal at the risk of not getting my better world or do I make my better world at the risk of becoming him. I told myself that even if it meant losing my mind and soul it was worth it but there could be a bleak future ahead of me so I don't know."

Light finally went back to bed but these thoughts were still going on throughout his mind. "Either way" Light thought "I have made up my mind. I need to create this perfect world. I am just sick and tired of crime in general. I have been focusing on the worst of the worst but no I should kill all those murderers and rapists. Petty crimes I will let go but as long as they don't feel remorse for their deeds then they are as good as dead. There is like no other way to fix the world that I can think of so I have to try with what I've got"

Light went to sleep but he continued to think "But this guy I keep seeing he is nothing like me but he looks like me and sounds like me. He is promising a good future if I go in his direction and I want to because maybe a utopia could come out of this. I just don't want a dystopia to come out of this instead. Take advantage of those voices in my head. That is the advice I am going to follow. I don't know where these voices come from and why they give me a sudden urge to kill but if I take advantage of them than maybe my perfect world will come to be."

Kills were getting easier to the point of feeling good and his loss of sanity was starting to feel good. It was coming from the Death Note but Light didn't know that. The notebook was pure evil but Light thought it could be used for good. Light was wrong in every way about the Death Note but he didn't know that he was wrong at all. For all he was concerned, the notebook was just a supernatural notebook that could kill and nothing more. Light didn't feel like corruption was coming over him as the notebook continued to enlighten him that night. Light's soul got more and more polluted that night as he thought that he couldn't let go of his goal.

"No" Light thought. "The younger me is wrong. He is wrong in every conceivable way. I will use this notebook to make a better world and he won't stop me. There is no way something like this could corrupt me. I mean my goal is noble and I think I have enough control over this so I won't be corrupted. These hallucinations are here but there is no evidence that this thing corrupts. The notebook didn't tempt me I just thought it could be used for good. I have to go in this direction or at least I have to try. I just don't want to end up like the future self that I saw. That is not me."

Light still needed to try his goal. Nobody was holding him back not even his family. He needed that Death Note and when he found the best successor he would give that notebook to somebody else.

"I must get my family out of danger in the mean time" Light thought. "They can't be trusted. Though maybe Sayu could be trusted as she felt like I could tell her what was going on. I don't know if I can get my father or mother on my side but it is not worth trying. All I see is a better future for all of us and that is all. This is going to be a better future for everybody. The image I am going to make is going to be an image that people are going to trust and admire. They won't fear me as I won't be killing anybody but criminals. I mean they are just really bad people. They won't care if I kill those types of people. I mean is it wrong to kill criminals if they are truly guilty of these crimes? I don't think so."

The night went on and Light continued to rationalize what he was doing unknowing to him that the Death Note was corrupting him.

* * *

 **Day Five**

* * *

Light woke up early to kill the criminals he needed to. The voices in his head to kill them came as well but he immediately did what he needed to do to get them out of his head. Each kill felt refreshing to Light's polluted mind.

"I need to take advantage of this" Light thought. "If I pussy out even once than I have failed to create a better world. Taking advantage of these voices will also show that I will not be messed with when it comes to making this perfect world. I just don't want anybody to come after me I mean the news is still positive about these kills. I have yet to hear anybody who says what I am doing is wrong and even if I do hear them I won't kill them. Those people are not bad people, it is only criminals that are bad people."

"Light", said the older figure, "with that you could rule the world."

"I could" Light said back. "But I don't need to be in a position of higher authority. I just want to make a better world. Doing so will require me to get some type of power but I don't think I would take it to that extent."

"But Light", said the older figure, "you are a god."

"Will you stop calling me that" Light said. "I may be super powerful with this notebook but I am not a god. I need this notebook to make a better world not be the god of this world. Hey are you trying to put thoughts into my head?"

"No" said the older figure. "I just admire you."

"I bet you admire me as much as the Shinigami that gave me this notebook" Light said "If he punishes me then I will give up my goal. There is no reason to upset a Shinigami."

Light started to chuckle a bit with an evil tone "Every time I use this notebook I feel more and more like killing" Light thought. "But I need this notebook. It is the only way to make a better world or a perfect world."

"Light" said Sachiko.

"Coming" Light said. "I will hold off on killing until after school" Light thought "As long as the feedback is positive, I don't feel any reason why I shouldn't kill criminals."

The day at school went normally as always and Light didn't feel any reason why he shouldn't be upset at killing criminals. He commented on the stories during the day to layoff suspicion.

"Everybody I know here seems to be taking this positively" Light thought. "There is no reason why I shouldn't be doing this. Innocent people die every day and justice isn't delivered immediately to the criminals who kill those people. With this book I am the law. With this book I can take the law into my own hands. With this book I am justice and will be a positive image to those who fear evil. Those who disagree will disagree but I don't think I am doing anything evil. Now killing innocents, something I will never do, now that is evil. The criminals are the only enemies I will ever encounter. I would never kill somebody just because they disagree with me. My future self seems to be treating me like a god but could I consider myself one. No I will not deify myself. People will deify me but I would never go as far as considering myself a god."

* * *

After school Light went back home and did both homework and killing criminals avoiding suspicion to the family around him. He was feeling better and he could act like he was recovering around the people he knew. Light did know that this was good on his part as it would make him less suspicious to his family. Sayu had asked what was wrong with him but now there was nothing wrong with him. He used the voices to his advantage.

 _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._ _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. , Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._

He didn't feel bad at what he was doing. The people he felt bad about were the people being killed by criminals. Slowly Light was starting to get blinded by his actions. He was going to turn into the exact opposite person than he had been but Light didn't notice. Light just felt he needed to create this better world for everyone. "Mom, Dad, Sayu, All my friends at school" Light thought "This is for you. You will admire me when all is said and done. Killing criminals isn't immoral. The government does it all the time. My future self is giving me salvation, greatness. I must take advantage of what he is giving me." The thoughts were still in his head.

 _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._ _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. , Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._

He felt comfortable with these thoughts like he never had before. Light started to laugh. "This notebook is giving me great things" he thought "I could never see this thing as evil or corrupting" Light was blind to the corruption happening throughout his mind. The corruption had been happening over the past five days but it was only now that it was starting to take full effect on him. "He calls me a god" Light thought "But am I. Is there nobody in the world who can stop me? Am I the only person who can stop myself? Either way I will change the world. My soul is just fine as far as I am concerned.

After homework Light had dinner and was able to avoid suspicion. It looked like today he could hide what he was doing successfully. He still thought that he could tell Sayu but he didn't know how she would feel. He would never harm his family. He cared about his family a lot and this was for all of them. He was doing this for everybody on the planet.

"In the end" Light thought "They will see me as a savior. George Washington, Gandhi those were people who were thought as bad people for what they were doing but now are regarded as heroes. I need to maintain my hero image. I would never kill somebody who wasn't a criminal but now murderers and rapists might not be enough. Any person committing a felony without remorse is as good as dead in my eyes." Light was getting more and more corrupt. The Death Note was continuing to pollute his mind. The once good soul of Light Yagami was going to be replaced by a more heartless evil soul.

That night Light returned to his room to continue his killings. The voices were still going through his head. Killing criminals was the only thing that could keep himself feeling satisfied with his life. His growth from normal teenager to crazy serial killer was almost complete. The Death Note would corrupt him even more over the next six years but the image of the old Light was almost gone and a new more evil Light was taking his place.

"Light", the older figure said, "you were chosen. This notebook was meant for you."

"The notebook doesn't reject me" Light said. "I must have been chosen" The older figure was going to disappear as the night went on, as Light got more and more corrupted. The voices in Light's head were crazy as they could ever be.

 _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._ _Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. , Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable. Do it, kill them. Kill them all. They are rotten and despicable._

Those thoughts had become second nature to him. He was being blinded. Choosing his older self over his mind and soul. The old Light Yagami was still inside but much more compressed. The old Light Yagami was still in there and would still be in there as long as he had friends and family. It was just much more compressed than it used to be. His parents and sister were going out tonight and wouldn't be back for quite a while. Light's innocent eyes were getting more and more sinister as the day went on and his soul was getting more polluted. If Light had stronger willpower against the Death Note he would have realized that he was wrong about the Death Note the entire time. Light was slowly growing a demonic smile as the new Light Yagami finally took its form.

"You know what?" Light said "Making a new and better world isn't enough. How about becoming the god of this new world. With this notebook I am invincible. Nobody can stop me. My way is the only way to fix this world. With this notebook I can rule this world as their lord and savior and in the end nobody will know it is me. My friends, my family, they will never find out."

At that moment Light made a long and insane laugh as those insane thoughts that were planted into his head by the Death Note were the only thing he could think of. The consequences for using the notebook becoming blind and drunk. Light was getting worse over the past five days but now his old self was compressed underneath his new more evil self.


	6. The Shattered Fortress

_**Final Chapter - The Shattered Fortress**_

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 **I'm sorry if the final chapter of this Fanfic takes dialogue from the end of the first episode in the series Rebirth but I wanted to keep this Fanfic as close to the series as possible.**

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After the new Light came to be he convinced his family that he was fine and there was nothing wrong with him. Light decided to kill criminals whenever he had the opportunity to and became more corrupt as the week went on. To Light's curious knowledge a Shinigami was coming to his house soon and the Shinigami's feelings would come as a surprise to him.

* * *

 **A Week Later  
The Day Ryuk Arrived**

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Light came home with the test he studied for and passed with flying colors. The corrupted youth was able to hide his corruption graciously. The weather was as bad as it was the day Light found the Death Note and it was going to get worse overnight. It was dark and it was storming like crazy outside. Light opened the door.

"What a nice surprise." Sachiko said "I wasn't expecting you home so early."

"Yeah. Hi, Mom, it's because... Huh?" Light said trying to lie to his moster before he remembered the test he passed "Oh, the results of the nationwide exams."

"I've been waiting all day." Sachiko said.

"Here." Light said as he gave her the test results.

"Goodness! No.1 again!" Sachiko said "These are the highest scores you've had."

"Yeah, I guess." Light said as he went into his room. "I'm going to study in my room, so please don't interrupt me, OK?"

"As you wish." Sachiko said as Light was going to his room "Oh, Light. Do you want anything at all, dear? You can ask for whatever you like."

"No, I'm fine, Mom." Light said "Thanks, though." Light closed the door.

"I've already got what I want." Light said. Light then opened up the Death Note and laughed in sadistic glee at all the criminals he killed.

"You've taken quite a liking to it." The Shinigami behind him said. Light turned around to see the figure. The shinigami was creepy and looked disturbing to him. Light screamed in shock and fell to the floor.

"No reason to act surprised." The Shinigami said "I am the Shinigami Ryuk. That used to be my notebook. Judging by your laughter, you've already figured out that what you have is no ordinary notebook." Ryuk said hiding the idea of the notebook's corrupting influence.

"Shinigami. A God of Death, huh?" Light said getting to his feet. "Well, I'm not surprised. In fact, Ryuk, I've been waiting for you." The new Light that was created a week ago was showing his colors to Ryuk as the old Light was compressed helplessly.

"Oh?" Light said" I've already figured out that this Death Note I found is real. It didn't take me long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of its power, I only feel more confident what I'm gonna do."

"That's interesting. I certainly wasn't expecting this." Ryuk said "Several Death Notes have made their way into the human world in the past, but you are the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you've killed in only five days." Talking about the previous five days Light wrote in the Death Note "Most are reluctant to write this much."

"I've already prepared myself, Ryuk." Light said "I used the notebook even though I knew it belonged to a Shinigami. And now that Shinigami has come, so what'll happen to me? You're here to take my soul, right?" Light said waiting for his punishment.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Ryuk said "Is that some fantasy you humans came up with? I'm not gonna do anything to you."

"Huh?" Light said surprised.

"The notebook becomes part of the human realm from the very moment it touches the earth." Ryuk said "In other words, the notebook is now yours."

"This is mine?" Light said surprised.

"If you don't want it, just give it to someone else." Ryuk said "But if you give it away, I'd have no choice but to erase your memories of the notebook."

"So then you are saying I can use the Death note all I want and won't be punished?" Light said surprised.

"Let's just say this: You will feel the fear and pain known only to humans who've used the notebook." Ryuk said hiding the truth of the Death Note's corruption and the curse it lay on people wanting Light to find out for himself."And when it's your time to die, it will fall on me to write your name in my Death warned any human who's used the Death Note can neither go to heaven nor hell for eternity." Ryuk said "That's all. Now you have something to look forward to after you die." Ryuk lied.

"Light?" Sachiko said outside.

"It'll be all right." Ryuk said "Answer it." Light opened the door.

"What is it?" Light said to his mother.

"I thought you'd like some apples." Sachiko said "The neighbor's brought them over for us.  
Why on earth is it so dark in your room? You'll ruin your eyesight."

"What's going on?" Light thought "Mom can't see him?"

"That notebook you found originally belonged to me." Ryuk lied but then spoke the truth"And since you're now using it, you are the only one who's able to see me. And of course my voice can only be heard by you. In other words, the Death Note is the bond between Light the human and Ryuk the Shinigami."

"Yum!" Ryuk said eating one of the apples Sachiko left.

"I just have one more question I wanna ask you. Why was I chosen for this?" Light said. "Hey, are you even listening?"

"Apples in the human world are worth the trip. What's the best way to describe these? " Ryuk said then turned his attention to Light "Juicy?"

"Just answer my question." Light said

"Ha, I didn't choose you. Don't you see this is all just an accident?" Ryuk said  
"You actually thought you were chosen because you're so smart or something? Don't be so vain.  
It just happened to fall around here and you just happened to pick it up. And that's all there is to it. That's why I wrote the instructions in English, the most popular language in the human world."

"Then why did you drop it in the first place?" Light said confused "You even wrote down specific instructions. So don't try to tell me this was an accident."

"You are asking me why?" Ryuk said "I did it 'cause I was bored."

"You were bored?" Light said surprised.

"The truth is, Shinigami haven't got much to do these days." Ryuk said "Most of the time we're either taking naps or gambling. If you take the time to write names in your Death Note, the others just laugh at you for working so hard. Even if you wrote the name of another Shinigami, it'd be pointless because they wouldn't die. And since we live in the Shinigami realm, it brings us no amusement to kill those in the human world either. So I figured I'd have more fun if I came down here myself. Anyway, I'm surprised at how many names you've written. But I wanna know why you only wrote the cause of death for that guy who was hit by the truck."

"If you don't write down the cause of death, the victim dies of a heart attack." Light said "And that's probably the best thing about the Death Note, Ryuk."

"Huh?" Ryuk said.

"You see, I've already exhausted the list of the world's major criminals." The Corrupted Light said veering away from his original intent to kill the worst of the worst "And eventually I'm gonna get rid of them all." Light said.

"What's the point of doing that?" Ryuk said.

"It's only a matter of time before people figure out that these criminals are being eliminated by someone." Light said blinded by his actions "I want the world to know of my existence; that there's someone out there passing righteous judgment on the wicked."

"Why even bother?" Ryuk said "What are you trying to achieve by passing judgment on them? I mean, why do you care?

"Because I've been bored, too." Light said corrupted by the Death Note.  
"I wasn't ready to believe it at first. But it's obvious now. There is something about the Death Note itself that makes humans want to try it out at least once." Light said not completely aware of the true nature of the Death Note.

"At first I wrote the names of the worst criminals I can think of, like I was cleaning up the world one name at a time, so that eventually no one will ever do anything evil again." Light said "And while the truly guilty ones who deserve to be punished for their crimes die of heart attacks, the people who are less guilty but who still make trouble for others will slowly be erased through disease and accidental death. Then, and only then, the world will start moving in the right direction. It'll be a new world free of injustice and populated by people who I've judged to be honest, kind and hardworking."

"But if you did that, it would make you the only bad person left." Ryuk said to the Corrupted Light.

"Huh? I have no idea what you are talking about." Light said oblivious to any wrong he has done. "I'm a hardworking honor student who's considered to be one of Japan's best and brightest.  
And I... I will become the god of this new world."

"It's just as I thought." Ryuk said "Humans are so interesting."

Light stared into the sky as the sun was setting unaware of the bleak future ahead of him. His intentions were good but over the course of the next 6 years they would turn into the worst imaginable as Light was unaware of what the Death Note did to him and was even unaware of the fact that he was blind and drunk from the Death Note. The Death Note corrupted him and took effect within five days. Light was unaware of it while it was happening. Light continued staring unaware of the bleak future ahead of him and the true nature of the Death Note.


End file.
